Hello everyone! I know many of you are wondering where I have been for so long since my last post, so I will tell you. I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH A ROUGH STATE OF DEPRESSION. That being said, I literally unplugged emotionally from everything except what I feel for my loved ones and focusing on healing. I even stopped making Youtube Videos because I just could not be bothered anymore. To those of you who have watched them and were looking forward to more, it’s okay, I’ll be back.
How is My Health Now?
Right now I feel pretty good physically. I am still very discolored over 90% of my body and I still get flares although they are not as intense and do not last as long as they once did. The worst parts of my body as far as flaring and itching go are my arms, hands, neck and legs. The parts that are still discolored, still shed skin. What is crazy though is instead of large skin flakes when shedding, they are small and sometimes look like little specs of sand. My hair isn’t falling out as much and my eyesight, well that needs to be check out for real.
I still get fatigued and wake up in the wee hours of the morning unable to get back to sleep and still get night time itching. I did though notice the other day that my face and some parts of my body (legs mostly) have patches on it that are returning to my normal color, YAY!! I just wish it would speed up.
One of the things that has been a hardship has been the fact that no matter how much I have tried to work during this, it’s been so difficult and then to be laid off from a job I loved to find another one through an agency only to be told after 5 months, via answering machine message (that I missed listening to by the way) not to come in the next day. The Rep told me “it looks like it’s due to lack of work” and they won’t be needing me but she will help me find more work. So far, nothing. The latter job was a joke though mainly because it was for a donation center and we got hung up on 95% of the time. It was all outbound calling yet we were expected to get those donations (20 a day) by any means necessary. I guess being HONEST and not putting in fake donation pickup requests, like some of my co-workers did at the time caused lack of work? As sick as I was many times, I was NEVER late for work and I came in and did the best job I could do. Oh well, their loss. The pay was way lower than what I am worth and the work conditions were less than stellar anyway. The ONLY thing GOOD things about that job was yes, helping people in need and that my co-workers were very nice regardless.
Not being able to work much and being sick so much though has left me $5,000 in debt which includes medical bills. It’s a good thing I am married to a Man who is a hard worker, understand my condition and situation and keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table, but still, I NEED to work. Living on one income in the state of CT is NOT good unless that person makes a WHOLE lot of money per year after taxes. I am seriously thinking about getting back into online marketing if I don’t find something soon. Now that I can sit up for longer periods of time that may be something I can spend time doing but even THAT takes money. I only get $130 a week for unemployment right now which runs out in November. That’s not even chump change in the state of CT.
I STILL wish I could sue big Pharma for making the poison that put so many of us in the situation but as I was told, we can’t because it is only a temporary condition. Really? WHY does it take up to and sometimes over 7 YEARS to heal from? How about all the horrible pain and suffering we have to go through? How about the job losses many of us have to endure? How about those of us who are not able to work at all? How about the psychological affects suffered? Yea, there is THAT too but folks, I decided to ask for assistance in this area by putting up a GoFundMe Account. I learned that some of my fellow sufferers have done this and have gotten some assistance, so I decided to give it a try myself, afterall I am STILL suffering and STILL need help.
Here is the link if you can help: GOFundMe
I May Be Suffering Still But I am Strong
That’s right, I AM strong! I AM a Trooper! I AM beating this! This whole ordeal has made me so much stronger it’s insane. I am NO LONGER in a depressed state of mind. I KNOW in fact that I WILL come out on TOP of this battle because THAT is what I WANT to happen, and I KNOW that it WILL. My faith, loyal support from family and support of TRUE friends has helped me tremendously, so once this mess, this nasty party of my life is over, I WILL break free from what was and truly blossom into the person I have become. I will embrace all that is waiting for me to accomplish in the near future and come out a winner because….the beat GOES ON!